Martial Arts Training

I am going to begin training myself to do martial arts. I one day hope to be in action movies and do anything I can to make Martial Arts movies better. so i wan’t to start training but I do not have money…I Do have and excercise bike, Heavy punching bag, lots of room to train in (2 Car Garage), and weights well I Have like a curling bar with two weights on each end wich is good for me and thats all i have i know with this equipment i can really get my body well conditioned. so this is what i will need if anyone can help me out. 1. I Will need to be able to do the splits. 2. I will need to have a very tight looking body. 3. I will need to be able to do back flips. 4. I Must increase my speed.
these are to most essential things i will need to be able to do. Now i know this will all be hard and take lots of time but i have nothing but time and no Job so i can devote most of my day to my training I am 20 years old and am honestly ready to get serious about this im about 130 pounds and not very flexible so i am going to need to work hard at this I Know. So if there is anybody out there looking to train someone I Would really appreciate it. Just give me a set amount of instructions on what i should do everyday and for how long also i drink alot of coke im guessing im going to have to give that up =( it’s ok though this is more important I Do not do drugs and rarely drink so im all good on that so email me and we can talk this over more Thank you.

IF you were really serious about studying you would spend that free time getting a job and finding a school to train at instead of trying to get something for free (which online training is a joke done by people to scam others out of their money anyway).

Where does the belief that someone can learn martial arts online stem from?

Logic disproves this hypothesis.

If anyone has successfully learned from an online or strictly written source with no real life instructor, I would be most interested. If you have successfully learned online, what is your experience when you fight a traditionally trained martial artist?
The portrait in myself is of me, myself, and I.

I am of Romanian descent (parents Romanian) and I am of Rromani ethnicity (that is "Gypsy").